Sabotage

Part 1 of 2

Sabotage.  The word brings about images of something menacing, just around the corner, waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting passerby.  Sabotage sounds like something you might imagine happening in the latest spy movie or corporate scandal; but never in your personal quest for fitness, right?  You might be surprised; though, how often sabotage takes place, in what ways it might appear, and why sabotage may happen.

Scenario #1:  You shared with your office co-workers that you recently made the decision to begin a fitness regimen.  You tell them you’ve hired a personal trainer, who put you on a plan to eat healthier and started you on a workout program.  You feel great, and are even beginning to see some changes.  Then, it seems that donuts, birthday cakes, pastries, candy, and various other no-no’s begin popping up everywhere around you.  You try to avoid the break room, where the bad stuff is most highly concentrated.  But, there is one co-worker who is always happy to stop by your desk, armed with her latest baked goodies.  She (or he) almost won’t take “no” for an answer.   She keeps a bowl of decadent chocolate candy on her desk and, after your repeated refusals of her “hospitality”, still continues to offer you the bowlful every time you walk by. 

 “Go on, one little piece won’t hurt you”, she says, temptingly.
 “No, that’s okay.”
 “But, you’ve been working so hard for weeks now, you deserve a piece.  Surely you can have just one”
 “No, really, I’m trying to stay on track”, you insist.
 “But they’re so good!”  She eats one, and her eyes roll back in her head in delight.  “Oh-my-gosh, these are amazing.  You can’t really pass these up, can you?”
 “Yes, I think I’ll pass on them this time.”
 “Well, if someone doesn’t eat all this candy I bought, it’ll go bad, and I’ll end up having to throw it out!”

Scenario #2:  You’re the boss.  Although you recently began a fitness regimen, you continue a weekly tradition of purchasing pastries for the office staff.  They all work so hard for you, that you feel this is the least you can do to show your gratitude.  Regularly, there is a box of assorted fluffy, cream-filled, glazed goodies sitting just outside your office, waiting to be eaten.  You hope all of the pastries are gone before temptation hits; but the open box calls you, almost always containing something that catches your eye and your sweet tooth. 

Scenario #3:  You’re in the weight room.  You’re in the middle of the workout program that you’ve been following for a few weeks now, when in walks someone who recognizes you.  Out of politeness, you stop what you’re doing, and speak; but before you know it, they’ve told you more than you really wanted to know about their job, their family, their dog, etc.  An hour has passed, you lost your momentum, and now you have to go home, without finishing your workout. 

Do these scenarios sound familiar?  Have you experienced sabotage?  It may not always happen in the workplace, or with co-workers; but may occur anywhere, with friends or relatives.  There might even be no one around but you.

I spoke with Deb Brantley, Licensed Professional Counselor, for her take on this issue of sabotage (my word, not hers).  Through our conversation, we came up with many reasons why a person may sabotage another’s quest for fitness, or any other type of self-improvement.  She did say she believed most cases of sabotage were not intentional; but were, nonetheless, effective.

Those committing sabotage may include:

* Those who have been successful in achieving their own fitness goals.  Throughout the duration of their own process, they may have been the center of attention.  Now, they find themselves out of the spotlight, as another person makes a declaration to their peers to begin to improve their health.

* Those who have previously been unsuccessful.  Seeing someone so close in proximity striving for and achieving some level of success may be threatening; or may bring back their own feelings of shame of their perceived failure. 

There are many more reasons why a person might sabotage another’s plans for improvement.  But, the most intriguing thing to me about the issue of sabotage is that the strongest, most intimidating saboteur of them all may be the one looking back at us in the mirror.  That’s right, we may be sabotaging ourselves through our thoughts, and words and actions.  Why?  Well, Deb Brantley, LPC offered up a few reasons why people may unintentionally sabotage their own fitness plans:

* Feelings of not deserving success

* Fear of intimacy, keeping a protective layer around him/herself

* Fear of failure, not setting goals too high.

* Fear of success

Again, there are many more reasons than those mentioned.  My response to Deb was that I believed some people have reasons for not achieving their goals, while others just have excuses.  With that, she read to me the following quote by Joyce Meyers:

“Reasons are totally different from excuses.  There is a reason for us being the way we are.  An excuse is what keeps us that way.” 

Keep your eyes open to sabotage as it relates to your fitness lifestyle.  Do you have reasons or excuses for not achieving your goals?  Next time, I’ll discuss ways we can effectively prevent sabotage.